I fancy a bit of a change in direction from the usual bollocks and will therefore be writing a short review of Ormskirk.
Ormskirk brands itself as an historic market town, loved by the elderly and lovers of tat alike. I prefer my own tag-line; Ormskirk - where the old come to die. The amount of elderly people in this town is second to none, they potter about aimlessly, milling and loitering, they have nothing to do and have been tricked into thinking Ormskirk is home to a lively bustling community full of like minded old codgers looking for the final thrill before popping their cobweb encrusted cloggs.
6 months now have I endured Ormskirk, and in those 6 months I have seen barely a soul who can claim to be middle aged. The needle swings wildly from pensioner to uni student, with seemingly no middle ground. This provides a wonderful mix of shuffling shopping bags and sniffling uni lags.
The main high street (for main read only) slicing through the heart of the town is one residents are surely proud of. Retaile outlets such as B ock us er (Blockbuster) leave one wondering if there is also a shop tucked away in some, thankfully, long-forgotten Ormskirk alleyway called LBT selling all the videos they steal from the
B ock us er returns bin. I hope so!
The town boast a huge array of ba... oh wait, no it doesn't. There is 3 bars in Ormskirk of varying quality, ranging from shit to errr, shit, granted it's a small town so I suppose it's off the hook in this respect.
A problem I have with the locals, Ormskirkians I believe, is their apparent lack of identity, screaming out to be included as Scouse, the L39ers fall somewhat short.
My major problem however is its approximity to hellhole of a town, the pie-eating, rugby-playing, JJB-wearing, hair gelling, jabroni bashing dump that is Wigan.
In a nothing town I suppose it is rather apt that on certain days revelers are greeted with the heady, pungent aroma of freshly laid manure as they step off the train into the overcrowded, overcared, overoldpersoned blight on the map that is Ormskirk; Historic market town.
Just as a quick side note, I like the uni, just not the town. Poor showing Ormskirk, better look next time.
What an angry day, my first blog in ages and I take a new direction and heap scorn on my university home!
No comments:
Post a Comment